My Debut Novel

Settle down folks. Put away your credit cards and piggy banks.... it's not written yet! But it could be.... SOONish.

Okay I'll explain. Remember my last post, with the insane idea that I could quit smoking purely with the aid of willpower, bubble wrap and a few cut veggies???? YEAH RIGHT!!!!

Well anyhoo, The honourable Dirk Flinthart offered to ghost-write my bestselling How To  book, and we would make squillions. Hmmmm sorry Dirk my friend.... ain't gunna happen. BUT!

Now that I've accepted that I was born without willpower, I'm travelling another route. Thass right... DRUGZ!!!! Now anyone who's used this particular Quit Smoking Drug (Havock) will know what I mean when I say OHMIGOD THE DREAMZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Crazy, weird, mixed up dreams. I wake up exhausted. This morning I actually remembered some of those dreams, and I'm sure I read somewhere that many an author has received inspiration during their slumbery travails.* So Imma gonna bore you all silly with (daily?) recollections of my nocturnal adventures. (I hate people who try to tell me about their dreams, but suck it up princesses). Hopefully, this whole mess will someday magically morph into a novel. Are you in Dirk? So settle back and read the tale of the hour between my alarm going off this morning, and me finally staggering out of bed...

In one hour.... I rescued my neice from a humungous mud puddle in the back yard (No idea whose backyard), seriously, that mother came up to my thighs. Now I'm not tall, but my 6 year old neice is the approximate height of your average 3 year old.  YAY AUNTY MAYHEM!!!

I followed up my heroic feat, by promptly losing said neice to a pair of of officious, yet stylishly uniformed female security guards. At the time I was arguing with a ticketing agent at the airport. In all I argued with 3 ticketing agents and a gaggle of skimpily dressed teens who tried to queue jump. NOT HAPPY!!! Still don't know where my neice ended up.

At some point uber author JB entered the fray. By this time I was back at (someone's) home. There was a contretemps involving JB, my older sister and some lollies and possibly patty cakes. There was an unpleasant incident involving water... lots of water... all over me, courtesy of my brother. Then towels. I had heaps of clean fluffy towels with which to dry myself off. Then I had a bath.

Now remember, all of the above happened in an hour. (And I have mercifully condensed the various scenarios, in the hopes that you'll come back). Prior to that, my recollections are pretty hazy. I'm certain that I was visited by a number of Burgers, including (but not limited to) our own Big Bad Al. My Mum made an appearance as well, and my younger sister.

What do you think? Is there a novel in this mess? Maybe we'll have a better idea after a few (dozen) more installments :)

*Requires confirmation

TO POP OR NOT???

Okay, I'm putting it out there... FINALLY making a serious attempt to quit smoking!!!!

I've tried many things over the years... Drugzzzz, Patches, Cold Turkey, Cutting down... and so far haven't succeeded. I HATE to fail at anything, so it's always difficult to get motivated to do this.

STILL, needs must, I know I have to do this, and I just need to persevere until I find what works for me. This time, I am trying the cut down by degrees method. Small, specific, achievable goals, one day at a time. Five less day one, ten less by day four... you get the idea. Probably the most important thing, is to remember that if I have a bit of a setback on any one day, it's NOT FAILURE, it's a HICCUP, and tomorrow will be better.

So, the question was, how will I keep myself busy, to stop myself focusing on the ciggies??? I've been doing a lot of baking lately, which is great for filling time, unfortunately also great for filling the tummy. My greatest fear is that I'll put on all the weight I've lost, so now I need to replace eating AND smoking with something that I can do while sitting at the computer, or reading/watching telly. It came to me last night, so OBVIOUS....

BUBBLE WRAP!!!!!!

I LOVE bubble wrap, can happily sit for hours popping those little plastic bubbles. Unfortunately J hates bubble wrap, he's going to be THRILLED (not) when he gets home tonight and I'm sitting popping bubbles all night.

Now, I've noticed over the years, that you're either a POPPER or a HATER!!! So lob in, tell me which you are, and why, and regardless, would you support me in using this to help me QUIT!!!

Jenniki in BrisVegas.... In Melbourne

So... We all know that Jenn is visiting BrisVegas, and would love to meet as many Burgers as possible.

To that end, some of the Melbourne Burgers have decided that, if we can't be in Brisbane to meet Jenn, we should have our own Burger Bash, at the same time, and meet her via Skype.

The date is 2nd of June @ 7:00pm. Location yet to be decided. Suggestions welcome!!! This could be the biggest and best Burger bash in history!!! Partners more than welcome, so organise your babysitters folks.

Please RSVP and let me know your location suggestions here.

Edited to note confirmed attendees:

Mayhem and J
Havock (and Mrs H?)
Albion Love Den (and Satomi?)
Melbo (+1?)