About Me

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Single Mum of teenage chef, affectionately known as The Brat. Have started a new life at the tender age of 44, embarking on a relationship with my childhood sweetheart... I know cliche central, but so far it works for us! New job, new friends, new challenges. Life's GOOD!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Christmas Gift!

Just a little something.....

Passionfruit Balls

125g Copha
250g Cream Cheese
1 cup Icing Sugar
1/2 cup Passionfruit Pulp (don't use tinned)
1/2 to 1 cup Plain Biscuit Crumbs (I use Nice)
Dessicated Coconut

Melt Copha, mix with all other ingredients. Place in fridge for 1/2 hour (the mix will be very soft, if still too soft to roll after refrigeration, add more biscuit crumbs - sorry, most of my Grandma's recipes are similarly vague, a small 1/2 cup of this, a large teaspoon of that etc.), before rolling into balls and rolling in Dessicated Coconut.

Not difficult, but will be sticky. Have found that kids love the messiness of making these, and they are absolutely delicious - The Passionfruit Balls - not the kids :)

Just Checkin' In!

On the wind down now to Christmas, thank God!

The shopping is done, the fruit for my pudding should be nicely pissed by now, all that remains is to get through half a day at work tomorrow, throw the pudding together and boil the shit out of it for 3 hours, make Rum balls, Passionfruit Balls, and White Christmas, wrap pressies, then midnight Mass at 9 o'clock tomorrow night!

Friday will start early with breakfast at Mums. We limit ourselves to Ham and Eggs, juice and tea (made with real tea leaves in a real teapot). That's because lunch will be Ham, Chicken, Turkey, Pork, roast veg, (about 5 varieties usually), stuffing (home made of course), and gravy. Dessert will follow about two hours later, Plum Pudding, Trifle, Jelly, Ice Cream and of course my Grandma's secret recipe Brandy Sauce. All this after possibly snacking on the odd Rum Ball Passionfruit Ball and White Christmas.

After lunch, we will all be too stuffed to move, and will each find a comfortable bed or couch and sleep until late afternoon (assuming lunch doesn't happen late afternoon). Dinner for those who partake is obviously leftovers. My Mum cooks for an army, and given that there are only 5 for lunch this year, leftovers may well last into February 2010. The only concession my parents seem to have made to the absence this year of the Melbourne contingent (another 5), is to buy 2 chooks instead of 3!

Good news is that The Brat will have 4 days off over Christmas! YAY!! I really miss him as I only see him for about an hour at night when I'm not too tired to wait up until midnight for him to get home from work.

Bad news is that The Man has said he won't make it up to Brisbane over the holidays! I suggested joining him in Melbourne, but was discouraged. I figure this means one of two things: either he is hoping to surprise me by turning up unannounced; or he's having 2nd thoughts about our relationship and where it's headed. Either way, there's not a lot I can do about it at the moment, I don't dare push the issue and just fly down, in case he ends up here while I'm down there! After a major meltdown a couple of nights ago, I have decided that I refuse to let the situation ruin Christmas for me. My family, and especially The Brat, don't deserve that, so I'm taking a wait and see approach. Trying not to get my hopes up, but feeling that the situation makes no sense given our recent conversations and my visit to Melbourne last month. Que Sera Sera!

So that's it from me until after Christmas, and possibly New Years (depending on developments if any). Except to wish all of you, my new friends, and all of those you love, a Safe and Happy Christmas, and a wonderful New Year. Thanks to all of you who have welcomed me, and my neuroses into your lives. You are appreciated.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Another Week Over

Well, not a particularly exciting one. But I'm in training to Faff for Australia at the next Fafflympics, so I'll probably manage to find something to Faff about.

Home - place is a tip, really need to do some housework but it's too bloody hot. Things get slightly out of control when you spend one weekend flittin about the country in the pursuit of happiness - or sex - at the moment roughly the same thing; then spend the next weekend in bed with plague because your interstate friend made you sick!

The Brat - God I love this kid! We have had discussions about the timing of my impending interstate move. My plan has been to wait until The Brat finishes his apprenticeship, wait a few more months until he establishes a direction (ie overseas, travel round Oz, work in the mines and make a motza for a couple of years, or join the RAAF), all possibilities at this point in time. However it's becoming increasingly difficult to imagine waiting that bloody long. I know we live in an instant gratification society, but I should have grown out of that by now shouldn't I? The Brat is awesome about this. So awesome in fact that he has even said that if I need to go then I should just go. If need be, he will move in with my Mum.

****Disclaimer - Instruments or Burgers who have met my Mum online, please be assured that my actual parents do not post to the Blunt Instrument, although it must be said that my Mum is eerily similar in some respects to Mayhem's Mum!**********

That threw me for a loop I will tell you! It is the last thing I thought he would ever do, given that Mum is a little more rigid and paranoid about things like coming home, not drinking, more sleep less partying, than I am. Don't get me wrong, we discuss the situation when I think he needs to pull his head in a bit, but Mum will try to keep him on a much shorter leash. Of course he adores his Nanna and Pop, but regards them as even more fuddy duddy than me. I foresee tears, lots of them, from both of them! But how awesome that he would be willing to do that for me.

Another suggestion, if he's not ready to jump into a sharehouse situation would be for him to move in with his Dad. He rarely sees his Dad, and in fact when he mentioned to one of his mates earlier this week that we were heading over to see him, his mate insisted that The Brat take a photo, to prove he even had a Dad. Anyway, the idea was floated, The Brat thinks it might be a tad weird, but The Dad has said he would go along with it. In some ways it would probably be a better experience for The Brat, as living with The Dad, he would certainly not be molly coddled or overly restricted like he would be at Nanna's.

Work - driving me nuts! One day I'm convinced that the boss is planning to sack me, the next we are back to the easy camaraderie that led to him offering and me accepting this job in the 1st place.

The Man - he is still too far away! We talk on the phone nearly every day now, which is a huge leap from the 5 minutes once a week at the beginning of this latest incarnation of our relationship. He is not one for faffing on the phone this man, but has gradually become more relaxed with it, and we have some interesting, and some not so interesting conversations these days. Kind of like real life really! I keep thinking that once I've seen him, I will be okay for a while, and it will strengthen me to carry on with this horrible horrible separation. In some ways, after the initial separation blues, it does. But it doesn't take long for that terrible yearning to be with him returns. In all my adult life, if I've had a bad day, I've had nobody to come home to who will just cuddle me, make me a cuppa, just be there for me and make the bad stuff fade even a little. Am I romanticising the situation because I have never really experienced a proper living with another adult human being (as one half of a couple) situation? Probably. Will the reality live up to the imagining? Possibly not, but God I want to go there! And now, it's looking increasingly less likely that he will make it up here after Christmas as planned. I have an alternate plan in mind, which I am yet to offer until we both know for sure what's what with his work, but the timing will be critical and I'm not sure I can pull it off. Be prepared my friends for a serious meltdown!

All this talk about moving to Melbourne is upsetting the other member of my household. I have told my Brother that this is on the cards, and he does not like it one little bit! Tough titties, He is no longer a factor in my life plan. At 41 years of age, he is perfectly capable of living his own life, and I will no longer be held to ransom by his medical condition!

Well that's pretty much it, apart from the dog giving me serious attitude because I went away for a couple of days, then The Brat forgot to come home for a couple of days. She is feeling neglected, and she lets me know this by finding the biggest clump of cobblers pegs she can, and deliberately getting a squillion of the damned things tangled up in her coat. As a Silky - Spaniel cross, this makes for hours of fun, cleaning and brushing, then having to strap my wrist for a week because I can barely move my arm.

Until next time I guess...... I will keep you posted (pun intended) on holiday developments with The Man.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm Baaaackkk

Back from Melbourne with a sunny new outlook on life!

And anyone who was in Melbourne last weekend knows that's quite an accomplishment given the sun didn't make an appearance the entire time. Not that I'm complaining, I actually love Melbourne weather, colour me crazy!

Arrived wee hours of Saturday morning, thanks to my big sis who trekked out to pick me up from the airport, and gave me a bed for what was left of the night. Up early to help younger sis dress her gorgeous babies for a wedding. After brekky then a shower etc., time to pick up kids, drop nephew to stay with friends for the night, and niece to stay with big sis, while Mums had a night on the town.

Then big sis, niece (and btw, if I could be 100% guaranteed one exactly like this, The Brat would have a sister) and I, off to the little hamlet where I grew up, and my man still lives. Not that it's little or much of a hamlet, (or even a market garden) anymore. We parked at his sister's to await the man's arrival, and thanks so much for your hospitality M, if you felt as bad on Saturday as I do now, you deserve a medal for not chucking us out to wait for him on the kerb.

Next day was a family lunch for my man's birthday... yeah yeah I know, this blog has a content warning and I skipped quite a few hours on the way to lunch. Suffice to say, we got sidetracked on our way to dinner, and were very hungry by lunchtime on Sunday. That's it!

Now I've mentioned before that I have known my man since I was a kid, 30 years to be exact, and his family was my second family. I was best friends with one of his sisters as well as his on/off girlfriend, my big sister was best friends with his other sister, our Mums were best friends, our Dads were drinking buddies. So lunch with his family was just like old times, no big deal..... except for the presence of the next generation, particularly my man's daughters.

Daughter 1 I met when she was a bub, she's just a few months older than The Brat, and I was gone from Melbourne well before he was born. On my last flying visit in July, I met her briefly at M's where she was babysitting when we arrived home from my sister's 40th. At that time I was introduced as H's sister (H knows most of these kids, as she lives down there and has met them all at various family gatherings), and a friend of M's. Daughter 2 I have never laid eyes on, she's a couple of years younger, and I haven't had the opportunity in my few brief visits in the last 18+ years. So I was a little nervous to meet these young ladies as their Dad's other half. Especially given that their Mum was also part of our little group as kids, and for one reason and another we didn't, and probably still don't, particularly get along. I wasn't sure if they had any idea about my relationship with their Dad, and if their Mum did, would she have said anything to them to stuff up my chance to get to know them on my own terms?

As it happens, no need for nerves. Two delightful young ladies, who obviously worked out I was there "with" Dad, (they gave M the third degree on the way to lunch, about who was with Dad, why wasn't he picking them up etc.), but chatted easily, made me feel welcome, and even gave me a kiss goodbye when we left the restaurant. Serious relief! Sounds silly doesn't it, to be worried about the opinions of these young girls, but as the mother of a teen, and knowing how my man adores his girls I was anxious for them to like me. God knows the distance is a large enough hurdle, without us having to worry about the kids. The Brat is fantastic (he hasn't met my man yet, or at least not since he was quite a lot younger) but he knows about our relationship and our history, and has told me that as long as I'm happy, he's happy for me. That meant a lot to my man as well.

Back to the local for a couple of hours, met some of the man's friends, had a few drinks, then back to his place for an early night. Sort of......

Monday he had to work, this was a spur of the moment trip to surprise him for his birthday, and he didn't have time to arrange a day off. I trained it back to my sister's place to spend time with her and her partner and the kids, before my big sister picked me up for the return trip to the airport. I had thought I might have a wander around the city, visit a few old haunts and do some window shopping, but given the girls won't be here for Christmas this year, and the kids love spending time with their Brisbane aunty, it wasn't a chore to change my plans for them. Next time I will stay longer and do a few things by myself.

Monday was hard, the first day apart after even a fleeting reunion really does my head in. I was teary and tired (God knows why!) and really didn't want to come home. By Tuesday, along with a seriously sore throat and a very nasty cough, I had a new attitude. (M was quite unwell while I was there, and my man and I have both ended up with her lurgy). The reason for my change of attitude? Well, discussions were had, plans were made, things were said. Basically I have a better idea of where I stand in this relationship. I'm finally confident it actually is a relationship, for both of us. Yes I have some self-esteem issues, but bear in mind I still don't know why we broke up 20 odd years ago, and since we started seeing each other again back in July, we have had exactly 2 nights together prior to this weekend. Yes we talk on the phone every couple of days now, but the distance complication really does batter the confidence. Little things like knowing that he has mentioned me to his mates, and invited them to the pub to meet me, that he talks about me to his sister, that he referred to himself as my other half, and that he's planning to forgo his annual camping trip to fly up here after Christmas to be with me. Those little things mean the world.

So now, I'm calmer, I'm more confident that this is really going to happen, and I'm even open to bringing my interstate move forward from the 2 years I had been thinking. At the very least I will be making sure we spend at least one weekend together every 6 to 8 weeks, either here or in Melbourne. 4 months is waaaayyy to long.

...... And more progress being made every day on those resolutions.