OMFG THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN !!!!!

Plans:

• Get a job
• Find a GP
• Find Specialist to take over my cancer follow up care
• Find a hairdresser
• Move end of March / early April

Progress

• Got a job (Official once references checked).
• Got a GP
• Finding specialist being undertaken by GP
• J's sister is a hairdresser
• Job starts on 15th of March so planning to arrive on the 14th.

So what now? Welll I'm nervous (terrified actually) and excited at the same time. I'm also incredibly proud of myself for going after what I really want. I'm concerned about The Brat, he's been out of work again since the floods, but now that situation is looking up, with a trial at one retaurant tomorrow night, and an interview at another if that doesn't work out!
I have a little over two weeks to pack up my stuff, and arrange transport for one or two household items. I have to try and sell some things, I'm tempted to donate it all, but the extra cash will be very necessary I'm afraid! J plans to fly up on the 12th and we will drive back to Melbourne with any items I can fit in the car.

Last, but certainly by no means least.... a final catchup with all my Brisbane Burger friends. Of course I'll be back to visit, and we'll have the odd Mayhem Day (Sorry to steal that Chaz)! It's possible that lunch is going to be difficult, so I'm thinking Friday the 11th for drinks/dinner????

Oh! And I have to tell my parents. They know I had interviews while I was away last week, and Mum at least, is NOT impressed! Once the reference checks are completed and I have an offer in writing I will let them know....

A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY?....OR SEXUAL ASSAULT?

I've just read a story (read it here) about medical students here and in the UK, performing intrusive examinations on anaesthetised patients without their consent. Comments on the story ranged from "outrageous" and "Rape" to "how else will our Doctors learn?"

It got me thinking. As you know I've recently undergone extensive treatment for Breast Cancer. That treatment included surgery. Does it bother me to think that there may have been a number of students lining up to palpate my breasts whilst I was unconscious? Not really... if nothing else, they may have learned that not all lumps are detectable by physical examination. Mine wasn't! Even with scans providing a roadmap for him, my surgeon was unable to feel the cancerous lump in my breast!

But what if I found out those same students performed an "internal examination" which had no bearing on my current condition? You know what? I still don't think I have a problem with it. I mean, I line up voluntarily every year for these procedures, more frequently if there's any kind of issue. What if one of these "unnecessary" examinations uncovered a problem? Am I going to sue the hospital for allowing the medical student to perform this "sexual assault" (thus potentially saving my life)? Not a hope. So why would I have a problem with the student ascertaining that there's NO problem. Short answer... I DON'T!

I've had experience with medical students in potentially embarrassing situations. While in labour with The Brat, the OB doc and I were at odds over whether or not I needed a Caesarian. (For the record, I was right, I didn't, The Brat was born naturally, if painfully). Anyone who's given birth knows that there's no dignity in childbirth anyway, and I've read the opinion that a labouring woman is in no way fit to consent to anything (you might be surprised!), but honestly, I REALLY didn't have any issue, and still don't, that The Brat's arrival was witnessed by a somewhat larger audience than originally planned. If nothing else, I hope those students left the room appreciating that it's always a bad idea to ignore a patient when he/she suggests that they have half a clue about their own body.

I think for me, and you may have a different view, it's the assumption that performing these procedures does NOT provide any form of sexual gratification for the Doctor, or the student Doctor. with no motivation to acheive sexual gratification, can this be considered sexual assault? Sure, I know we read about Docs being disciplined for inappropriate conduct towards their patients, but seriously, these are in the minority. I just can't imagine that there are too many people out there who are so twisted that they are prepared to spend thousands of dollars, and years of their lives, looking for an "easy" way to indulge their sick fantasies.

An element of trust is necessary when we ask virtual strangers to take such intimate care of us. I just can't be bothered believing that everyone out there wants nothing more than to do me harm. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

OH FFS....

Within a couple of hours of my publishing the previous post, The Brat arrived home to announce that he has once again joined the ranks of the unemployed!

In their wisdom, his latest employers have decided to can ALL of their apprentices, and staff the kitchen with only their 3 qualified chefs, and a casual. He's gutted! He was really enjoying this job, and they were paying well too. He has a plan though.... The head chef had previously let him know that he was leaving, moving to Darwin. Given that he is one of the 3 qualified chefs, either he will have to delay his plans, or the restaurant will need another qualified chef in a hurry. The Brat will ask them to keep him on, help him qualify early, and so become their 3rd chef. We'll have an idea today as to whether or not that plan will fly.

Wish us luck, after last year we had both hoped for a better start to 2011.

2011 - PLANS AND PROGRESS

So.... It's here finally (already).

This year, I move to Melbourne to begin the next phase of my life. I think there are some who doubt my committment to the endeavour, but I can assure you all, this IS going to happen.

Plans:

• Get a job
• Find a GP
• Find Specialist to take over my cancer follow up care
• Find a hairdresser
• Move end of March / early April

Progress:

So far I have applied for 10 jobs. Most of these positions are advertised via recruitment agencies, so even if  none of these vacancies are suitable (particularly in regards to timing),  at least I am now on the books to be considered for any other jobs that become available. My boss has already advertised my job, with the assurance that if I change my mind or my timetable, I stay as long as I need to.

I will be visiting Melbourne from the 12th to the 20th of February, hoping to meet with prospective employers at that time. I'm prepared to do Temp work when I first get there, that may make it easier to organise permanent work if I'm not interstate and don't have any notice periods to worry about. I'm even prepared to pull beers at our local for a while.... it's been a few years, but I'm sure I'll manage, and I've been assured that the work will be available if I need something to tide me over. Tomorrow I will phone my contact at the Fund Manager we use for a lot of our business. He has told me previously that he may be able to organise something for me at their Melbourne headquarters.

Sometime this week I will call J's sister and ask her about her G.P. If I can get an appointment for while I'm there in February, I may be able to arrange referrals to various specialists. I need to have somewhere for my records to be sent. She may even be able to point me in the direction of a Breast Cancer specialist. Given that their Mum died of Breast Cancer 20-odd years ago, both J's sisters have regular checkups.

Other News:

I think, in my last update The Brat was out of work again. Well he started a new job the week before Christmas, and as usual seems to be going okay. In huge contrast to his previous position he seems to be getting paid well above the odds. Excellent, given that my move to Melbourne means that he too will be moving out of this house, and needs to save some coin to get himself set up elsewhere. he's REALLY looking forward to it, had planned to be out of home a while ago, but put his plans on hold so that he could be here to support me through treatment. Some of the time he has been spectacular, some of the time, not so much. He's on track to finish his apprenticeship about a month after my planned departure, but as he has completed the classroom elements of his apprenticeship, may be able to qualify early. This will depend on his being proactive enough to get his head chef to sign him off on all of the incomplete practical elements of his training log. He's done them all, but he needs a chef to sign that he's competent. I'm hoping that with a month or so in his current position he will do that, because apart from allowing him the freedom to work anywhere (at the moment he is tied to host employers who deal with his training organisation), he will get a few dollars from the government for qualifying early. That will help him with his moving costs, and ease my concerns a bit too.

J's Dad has rallied. He is now in Palliative Care at the Werribee Hospital, but they are making noises about discharging him. His kids are trying to make alternative arrangements, they feel he would be best off in a nursing home where he access to 24 hour care. Failing that, I believe J's sister is considering having him back at her place. This is NOT an ideal solution, as she and her husband both work, and he really needs someone there at all times. All of the kids work, so unless there is a way to arrange a roster so that one of them or their spouses can be available at all times, I can't see it working. If that's the way it's got to be, I will take my turn along with everyone else. At least I am not a stranger to him, he's known me 30+ years.

I have not discussed my plans with Mum and Dad. I just don't have the energy to fight them on this. I have enough drama in my life right now, and am concentrating on what's best for me. I know that Mum has been told (by my sister - with my permission), but she has not spoken to me about it. Maybe I'm just burying my head in the sand, but in a couple of weeks, when my treatment is finished and my burns are healing, I will hopefully be strong enough to tackle the issue head on. Mum's response when my sister told her of my plans, was that my relationship won't last, and that I shouldn't be moving so far away from The Brat. Who knows? Maybe she's right about me relationship, but I'm CERTAINLY not going into this with the expectation that we will fail, or even possibly fail. A lot has happened between J and I over the last 18 months, a lot that I haven't shared, but I believe with every fibre of my being that this WILL work, as long as we work at it. From my observation, given that I've never been in this position before, I think ALL relationships need the partners to work at maintaining them. As far as The Brat is concerned, I should do what makes me happy. He doesn't really plan to stick around long once he qualifies anyway, though whether or not he gets himself organised to get out and experience the world remains to be seen. I hope so!

Wish me luck folks, and any and all employment leads will be gratefully received.

GETTIN' MY RANT ON....

Having worked in various branches of the finance industry for more than half my life, I'm not usually one for bashing the banks or insurance companies etc., however if there's one thing (or two actually) that I CANNOT stand, it's being lied to or taken for a fool.

A couple of years ago, I opened a new bank account. I've been perfectly happy with the bank I'd been with for many years, but there were issues with the length of time it was taking for my salary to get from the boss' account with bank 1, to my account with bank 2. So I opened an account with bank 1. Problem solved! The boss would press the necessary buttons on his computer, sing out and let my know I'd been paid, and I could log in and immedaitely make the various payments and transfers that keep a roof over my head, and the electricity and phone etc. connected.

UNTIL YESTERDAY!!!! When my salary still hadn't hit my account more than 7 hours after it had been transferred, I phoned the bank.

"When will these computer issues that have been all over the news for weeks, be fixed?"

" We're no longer having any computer issues."

"So where's my pay then?"

"It can take 24 to 48 hours for funds to go from one account to another."

"BULLSHIT! Either you're lying to me, or you're being lied to my your higher-ups!"

"No, it's always been the case. Recent computer problems are all fixed, and have nothing to do with your current situation."

"So, you're telling me that for the last 2 years+ I have just been LUCKY that my pay has been applied to my account immediately after my boss has initiated the transfer?"

"Well.... yes."

(Actual conversation not necessarily as polite and calm as illustrated above... but you get the idea).

I got the same story from two different staff members, and I made it VERY clear that I didn't believe a word of it. And I don't! And if it IS true, then it's an absolute RORT! I hate the fact that I live payday to payday, though at the moment, (with The Brat out of work), it's more like payday to 3 days before payday. Nevertheless, for now, and for the immediate future, that's how it is. So when a huge corporation like this bank can just allow MY money to just float around in the ether unaccounted for, I get PISSED OFF!!!

What's worse, is that this bank couldn't even be bothered telling me the truth! If they had, I'd still have been unhappy, but I wouldn't have the burning rage that will see me take this matter further. I WILL take this matter further, all the way to the CEO if necessary (I have done it before and had a win). Wish me luck!

HIGHS AND LOWS!

As suggested by the title, there have been some high points and some low points over the last three months.

For those who don't follow me on Twitter, don't worry, my health is fine(ish), though there have been a couple of complications there too, which I will detail at the other blog. (Here)

Work is going along okay, the boss has been pretty good since we cleared the air about our little misunderstanding earlier this year. He knows of my plan to move to Melbourne, but is not aware of my timetable as yet. I will break it to him fairly soon I think, as the time is coming ever closer.

The Brat is once again out of work, having been ripped off salary wise by his most recent employers. Now given his record for staying in any one position for any length of time is not exactly awesome, I don't for a second believe that he is without blame in the various scenarios which have led to his temporary bouts of unemployment. Sadly, he's actually very good at what he does, and he is in fact a good little worker. To a degree he has been unlucky. Hopefully his next position will see him out to the end of his apprenticeship and beyond. After that who knows? He may choose to join me in Melbourne, travel, or, my personal preference, join one of the armed services for a few years. I have to admit though, it's been nice having him around the last week or so.

My relationship is going really well. I don't know what exactly turned the tide, but J has gone from being a man who emphatically declared less than 12 months ago, that he will be single for the rest of his life... to asking me to move in with him when I finally do get to Melbourne. Maybe it was my cancer, or the enthusiastic reception our relationship has had from his friends and family, or maybe a combination of the two.  Sadly his Dad was also diagnosed with cancer, and as a result of other medical conditions, his treatment options were somewhat limited. He is currently under palliative care - which involves Morphine, as much as he needs, and is unlikely to survive the week. I saw him a couple of weeks ago when my best friend treated me to a weekend in Melbourne for J's birthday. Sad to see a strong, proud man reduced to the extent he was, and less than 24 hours after I returned home, he was in hospital. He is still a proud man, and the frustration in his eyes when he struggled to understand or be understood, was heartbreaking. I hope to make it back for his funeral, but that will depend on when, as my treatment has to be my priority.

Some of you will know that I had planned to be living in Melbourne by now, but obviously the cancer came along and delayed my plans. My next plan was to wait until I have my 12 month mammogram in June, then head off once I have the all clear. I am now moving my timetable forward, with the blessing of my Doctors. When I am ready they will transfer all of my records to the appropriate Doctors in Melbourne, and I can have all of my follow ups down there. So I am planning now on a move late March or early April 2011.  J and I are both excited and impatient, but obviously it would be foolish to do anything until my active treatment is finished.

My parents.... well what can I say. There are subtle indications that Mum is beginning to accept the inevitability of my move. It will be a long time before she likes it though, if ever. Still, she has joined a bowling league, and talked Dad into joining the RSL, in an attempt to broaden their social circle. So far it seems to be working, and as they settle into new friendships, hopefully my move won't be as devastating as she thinks it will. There was a major hissy fit when I went to Melbourne a couple of weeks ago, but my current tactic is to ignore the tantrum, and eventually she settles down. She wouldn't drop me at the airport or pick me up on my return though.

I had breakfast this morning with some of the Burger crew. Good food and company, but once again no photos. D'Uh! I even made a point of locating and taking my camera and then forgot to use it! There are plans afoot to catch up again in the New Year, and I look forward to that. I'm also keen to see and meet more of the Melbourne Burgers, once I move.

So for now, I continue with my treatment, and prepare for Christmas. My younger sister will be here with her partner and the kids. My older sister was going to be here, but unfortunately will be unable to make it. I am looking forward to it, it will be a distraction from my treatment (which continues through my short break).

Given my track record, I suspect I won't be back with an update before Christmas, so to all my friends, have a safe and happy Christmas, or whichever celebration you prefer. Thank you again for your wisdom, support and friendship, and I will see you all around the Twitterverse, or on facebook, or the varios Blogs we frequent, until we catch up in person.

Well I DIDN'T LIE Exactly.....

Actually, I DID get very inspired reading Mr Flinthart's chronicles of his trip to Borneo.... particularly the stuff about food. So inspired and nostalgic in fact, that I decided to do something a little different and blog about some of my own experiences and memories growing up in that part of the world.

Unfortunately, halfway through I DID get somewhat unwell. After that I DID get quite happy (Thanks to some friends who shall remain nameless). Sadly the Happy DID make me somewhat woozy, and I consequently DID fail to gather enough momentum to continue....

So this post is not the one I had originally planned, but Meh! It will have to do.

Yesterday was my Birthday. Not one of those significant number birthdays, but a birthday nonetheless. Now the thing about my birthday is, given I was born on Father's Day way back when, my birthday is usually only a few days either side, and thus tends to end up a shared celebration. Even my 40th, which fell on a Monday was celebrated in fine style at a beautiful restaurant, with my family, on Father's Day with every other diner there to celebrate Father's Day. It just didn't feel special.... and to cap it off, thank you Crocodile Hunter for dying on my actual 40th birthday. Now how the hell did this turn into a rant about my birthday??? It wasn't meant to, so rant over!

Back to yesterday.... and actually it ties in kinda neatly with the original post I had planned. You see, since my diagnosis, some of the people I have reconnected with are people who have been in my life as long as I remember. RAAF people, whose families have shared many experiences with mine, and particularly the Malaysian experiences. It occurred to me that we have all become so terribly busy that we almost never see each other. None of us live all that far apart, yet we never get together. One of the boys has been back in Brisbane more than 5 years, and I haven't seen him, or met his wife of 15 years, or his kids, in fact I haven't seen A in about 20 years. Similar situation with his brother, though in our defense, he and his family do live in Canberra. Anyhoo, I was determined that the phrase "we really need to get together" was no longer going to be just a throwaway line. I was going to make it happen!

The opportunity presented itself when my older sister decided that she would visit for my birthday. It was as much a matter of this being a "good" weekend for me, just prior to scheduled chemo, as anything else. So I made the calls. First to Mum, to see if she would mind hosting a little shindig. She was all in favour, so I called A, while Mum called his parents. Then I rang K, and she was enthusiastic, and fortuitously her Mum would be here that weekend from her home up north. I then had a call from A's brother P, the one who lives in Canberra. He was keen as well, and decided to try and arrange a shift swap, so he could make a flying visit. Sadly that didn't happen, but the rest of it did!

So for about 6 hours, we sat and ate, and drank and talked. And talked and talked. There are children who now know more about their grandparents than they ever wanted to! There are older children who now know more about their PARENTS, than they ever wanted to.... I had NO idea of some of the things my folks got up to over in the tropics! We reminisced about everything, the food, the locals, the RAAF School and the Swimming Pool. We remembered old friends, some of whom are gone, some of whom we have recently reconnected with, some of whom we would love to have back in our lives. We remembered the care packages we all received when my Grandma came to vist.... fresh Aussie beef, milk, cream, vegemite, and most importantly the LOLLIES! Minties, Bananas, lots of lollies that tasted nothing like Durian. For more info about Durian and other exotic food pop over here: http://dirkflinthart.blogspot.com/2010/08/extreme-food-tourism.html Dirk did it so much better than I could have anyway!

All in all, a brilliant day.... not because it was my birthday, (that was a happy coincidence - I can tell you now, if my birthday was the weekend AFTER chemo it wouldn't have happened this way), but because it was amazing to be with these people again. It makes me wonder why we wait until a life changing event occurs, before we reconnect with the people who have been special in our lives. Life's short, anything can happen, and we need to be mindful of that. Three of the people who were at that table yesterday have had cancer battles (2 of us from my generation). I am SO glad we had yesterday, and we are determined that it WON'T be another 5 years, or 20, we will be in each others lives again, SOON!

And the best thing? I have a new friend, A's wife is fantastic!